Jessy R @OGGTweet
Santa Clara, UT Joined February 2009-
Tweets2K
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Followers242
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Following1K
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Likes383
Me and my sister. In life. x.com/lawofgreen/sta…
Jessy R retweeted
ME: it feels like the teens use a lot of hyperbole these days WeEdTEENxX69: this is literally the most true thing i have ever read
Explain yourself!!! x.com/nolachef504/st…
Jessy R retweeted
*falls dramatically on therapist's sofa* the barista touched the mouth hole
Jessy R retweeted
Doc: *completing exam* there's a buzzing sound coming from your midsection. Me: *wearing a vest of bees* will I bee ok? Doc: get out!
Jessy R retweeted
Happy Birthday, David Bowie! Here's a throwback to @Cmdr_Hadfield's version of Space Oddity from the @Space_Station: youtu.be/KaOC9danxNo
Jessy R retweeted
COP: Sir, why did u ram your Toyota Highlander into another Highlander? ME: There can be only one COP 2: *nodding* He's got a point, Ed
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ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know
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Misunderstand and call it weird. That'll do.
Jessy R retweeted
Funny how resolutions are custom made and yet, so ill fitting.
Jessy R retweeted
What kind of monster sits in a rocking chair and doesn't rock
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What is ugly? Dark vacant, unfeeling eyes when they're witnessing human suffering. A heart bereft of compassion.
Jessy R retweeted
I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open Shark:[nervously makes house noises]
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Fine. If you guys insist I'll have some more ice cream.
Jessy R retweeted
anyone: hi me: *throws up*
16 oz. iced soy O.G. Everyday forever please. x.com/grouchyjohns/s…
The @grouchyjohns specialty menu! (can be served hot or iced or blended)
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