Avery Edison @aedison

nobly withstanding the vast brunt of it averyedison.com Toronto, Ontario Joined March 2007

Tweets

10K
Followers

50K
Following

417
Likes

298K

Avery Edison @aedison

16 hours ago

with chicken costs what they are, I’m thrilled to be working with mcdonalds to promote the ultimate nugget—one enormous delicious treat created with the focused psychic energy of billions of hungry customers. give your part, and swallow the whole. comes w/choice of dipping sauce

1 0 25 1K 0

View Details

Here's What I Reckon: @angryaboutbikes

20 hours ago

Perma-austerity Britain barely has the capacity to handle its basic day to day needs. In future, I wonder how many more situations we’ll see where something is badly and urgently wrong, but there simply doesn’t exist an organisation whose job it is to attend to the problem

Tony Vaughan KC MP @tonyvaughanMP

23 hours ago

A constituent has been stuck on the M25 near Oxted for 8 hours. It is 40 degrees in her car. She has kids with her. She is running out of water. The person from the car in front has been airlifted to hospital with dehydration. Police seem to be saying it’s not their job to give

780 659 4K 828K 201

2 24 260 8K 12

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

a day ago

another placidacceptancegiving ruined. my family’s blank, resigned faces twitching and spasming as the electrified tubing of the turboslop pump adds short, sharp shocks to its delivery of festive gruel—a fitting punishment for uncle jxck’s clone thinking politics at the table

1 0 10 823 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

2 days ago

google, search google for the following google search term: if you’re good enough at the gun range do they let you take one of the guns home

1 0 12 1K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

2 days ago

@jes5199 bookmarking

0 0 42 5K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

2 days ago

you can tell Philip K. Dick wasn’t making up the space laser thing because you wouldn’t say it was pink unless you had to because it was the truth. you’d pick a manly space laser color

13 55 2K 59K 173

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

2 days ago

the universe is collapsing. everything that exists, every part of everything that exists, is rushing to the center to crush together. this is happening to all matter at the same time, so it happens outside of time, and in an instant. but I just cannot be bothered. too much fuss

3 0 15 1K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

2 days ago

someone listening solely to labour party comms would be under the impression that starmer had to leave downing street due to some natural disaster or terminal illness. of course, someone listening solely to labour party comms would have long since chewed off their own face

1 4 75 2K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

I am not trapped! My guardian is being chased by spectral hands! They wish to take her soul as retribution! She went back on a deal! I am not trapped! My guardian used her powers to keep me cool and write this warning! Great powers they are, but at a terrible cost! I have snacks!

0 0 3 697 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

2 months ago

I’m hearing Taylor Lorenz is in hot water, which she presumably calls “room-temperature water”.

16 49 2K 150K 45

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

new trend y’all put a finger down if you’ve ever gotten the ick from hearing your segblock companion plan to destroy their network identags and use an illegal vpn mod to post online. put a finger down if you would consider reporting him/her for a reward of 2 hours of screenglaze

1 0 11 1K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

@JuiceSimpsons one of the most lightning in a bottle things of all time, just a perfect game

0 0 3 478 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

computer, generate supercut: toughest animated batman moments. make sure the green lantern ring steal is in there. real aura building hours. oh, there’s already a ton of those videos? well, that won’t stop me, A Guy Uploading Basically Anything To TikTok

0 0 20 1K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

@dziabko123 @documense @Shattubatu yeah sometimes jokes are fucked up. you gotta weigh the potential harm done against the positive of making lots of people slightly amused. I overvalue the latter, but I also think more people becoming aware of this voice and its causes might be value enough on its own

0 0 5 196 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

4 days ago

when someone shows up in a video with a voice like this my partner and I are immediately in a race to be the first to say “and nothing really, really bad has ever happened to her, by the way”

Jubilee @jubileemedia

4 days ago

Dean Withers discusses with MAGA woman whether women or men are better leaders #maga #donaldtrump #deanwithers #surrounded #jubilee @itsdeaann

930 569 16K 3.2M 6K

16 32 2K 271K 610

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

neurotypicals will never understand the neurospicy joy of turning on the tv and assembling those random colors and sounds into video in my mind. I didn’t even know this wasn’t something everyone could do, I guess I thought it was normal!

0 1 33 1K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

Starmer resigning to spend more time on private pursuits like playing 5-a-side football, meeting up with his tailor, and everything in between.

0 2 18 2K 1

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

3 days ago

and is it true that two days before the murder you googled “can they tell if you were the one who used your colleague’s computer to google ‘can they tell if you were the one who used your boss’s computer to google ‘how to write suicide note’ to get away with it’ to frame them”?

3 1 38 2K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

4 days ago

just read that it takes on average 18 sashes of lightning force to grow someone big enough to reach into the clouds and grab 20-30 sashes. ludicrously inefficient, what are we even doing here? can we not just be happy with the LF that naturally falls to the ground every thursday?

1 0 12 1K 0

View Details

Avery Edison @aedison

4 days ago

I’ve spoken to my channeled guide and confirmed that Starmer’s resignation IS a result of the hex I placed on him. We celebrate, but we are wary, as we Daughters of Lady Moon know that “the best success brings a test.” Meet me on the astral plane at 144,000 Downing Street!