emoooooooo @emoookitten
Joined June 2018-
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I used to think I was ‘too classy’ for ‘flamin’ hot’ but I stand corrected
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I got burned by my super spicy Valenthai food and that pretty much sums up how I feel every time I get involved with a man
@thehill You bettah call tyroooonnee and tell him c’mon help you GET YO SHIT
trust no one. i don’t even keep a journal
@DJQUICKSILVA I call it ‘the butt’ because it’s the butt end
@realDonaldTrump you are so goddamned dumb
I am never more what I eat than when I eat Utz Crab Cheese Balls
you know your house is messy when you find yourself saying 'ground score!'
I just found out I knew one of the Annapolis shooting victims through work. I want a pint of ice cream so bad
My dad was a lone wolf and he wasn’t sad about it. He hated everyone. I think I am turning into this
Note to everyone: no one writes the first half of an email, then writes the same thing in the second half. Both halves are different. Read the whole email.
actual thought I had just now: 'ohhhh working from home is so exhausting.' I'm already jaded my first day 😂
People are posting shit like ‘don’t go numb’ - I’m sorry I can’t hear you because I’ve been numb FOR TWO YEARS ALREADY
The key to keeping a clean kitchen is to never do anything in the kitchen.
#1 rule of life: if you CAN lie back down and go to sleep again, DO.
If we're mostly strangers and I like and comment on your posts, it's because I've unfollowed most of the people I actually know
Does butter have a lot of protein? Asking for all the butter I eat
One of my biggest regrets in life is that I will never be up early enough to buy the artisanal donuts from the guy who makes like three, sells out, and closes up shop at noon
Devil’s Daughter @devilsdaugh
1K Followers 3K Following A Chicago improv team - Fridays at 7:30pm at iO Theater - tickets at https://t.co/0mbFCsFfe5 - more info: https://t.co/vIXnDcWqM4
Danny Rathbun @DannyRathbun
932 Followers 2K Following Stand up comedian, writer, third most handsome comedian in the tri-state area
charmcitymegan @charmcitymegan
27 Followers 57 Following
Nell @Importantverbs
487 Followers 2K Following Lawyer, all about access to justice for you and everyone else. #Baltimore #Birdland #SticsSZN She/her. Therein squats the toad.
Shawn Wickens @shwickens
1K Followers 1K Following Folk Hero of the Open Road. 🖖🫠🎆 P.S. Who has the Time Machine Blueprints? 💪❤️🔥
Laughfinder Podcast @LaughFinderPod
532 Followers 1K Following A podcast starring 4 Working Comedians, an award winning NPR radio personality, an in studio Audiomancer and a Biweekly guest. Busting balls and playing an RPG
Devil’s Daughter @devilsdaugh
1K Followers 3K Following A Chicago improv team - Fridays at 7:30pm at iO Theater - tickets at https://t.co/0mbFCsFfe5 - more info: https://t.co/vIXnDcWqM4
Joe Biden @JoeBiden
37.9M Followers 48 Following Husband to @DrBiden, proud father, grandfather, and great grandfather.
Nancy Pelosi @SpeakerPelosi
8.2M Followers 492 Following Representative for CA-11, fighting for the people of San Francisco. 52nd Speaker of the House. Wife, mother, grandmother, dark chocolate connoisseur.
Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren
6.7M Followers 486 Following U.S. Senator, Massachusetts. She/her/hers. Official Senate account.
Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders
11.6M Followers 2K Following Sen. Sanders of Vermont, Ranking Member of U.S. Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor & Pensions, longest-serving independent in congressional history.
Elizabeth Warren @ewarren
5.5M Followers 537 Following U.S. Senator, former teacher. Wife, mom (Amelia, Alex, Bailey, CFPB), grandmother, and Okie. She/her. Official campaign account.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cor... @AOC
12.7M Followers 4K Following US Congresswoman, NY-14. In a modern, moral, and wealthy society, no American should be too poor to live. People-Funded, takes no lobbyist💰. Personal account.
Vice President Kamala... @VP46Archive
14.3M Followers 6 Following This is an archive of a Biden administration account, maintained by the National Archives and Records Administration.
Michelle Obama @MichelleObama
20.7M Followers 17 Following Girl from the South Side and former First Lady. Wife, mother, dog lover. Always hugger-in-chief. #TheLook
Hoopztarot🔮 @Hoopztarot
72K Followers 269 Following Tarot reader/ 18+/For a reading please email [email protected]✨ Readings:OPEN♥️
ehime ora @ehimeora
190K Followers 352 Following Author of SPIRITS COME FROM WATER & ANCESTORS SAID. Founder of @ancestorssaid @theiwoki. AuDHD. [email protected]
angie @teaxtarot
70K Followers 533 Following
Rachel Maddow @maddow
9.6M Followers 4K Following I see political people... (Retweets do not imply endorsement.)
Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris
21.0M Followers 700 Following Always fighting for the people. Wife, Momala, Auntie. She/her. 107 Days available now.
Dan Rather @DanRather
2.3M Followers 1K Following Journalist, storyteller, lifelong reader. Texan by birth and by choice. Author of STEADY: https://t.co/8kW1QUbZQJ
Keisha Zollar @keishaz
6K Followers 1K Following register vote and CHECK YA STATUS at https://t.co/wGjZ4ihvQg
Phish: From The Road @Phish_FTR
91K Followers 10 Following Official From The Road updates from Phish Tour. setlists, photos, videos and more...
The Alexa Teacher @Gothic_Sans
137 Followers 138 Following Available for comment at [email protected]
Spectacles Improv @SpecsImprov
9K Followers 10K Following Spectacles Improv Engine is dedicated to producing high quality, unique and hilarious improv comedy in Orange County. #Improv #ImprovComedy
Shawn Wickens @shwickens
1K Followers 1K Following Folk Hero of the Open Road. 🖖🫠🎆 P.S. Who has the Time Machine Blueprints? 💪❤️🔥
RubyMarez @TitleToMyMemoir
15 Followers 57 Following I'm an Actor. Writer. Improviser. Solo show creator and performer. These are the titles to my memoirs that I hope to write one day. Tweet me yours.
Amy Contevita @amycontevita
101 Followers 380 Following crafts, improv, fitness, percussion, baltimore
Justin Peters @justintrevett
2K Followers 419 Following @Slate correspondent, author, improviser, game show loser. Unapologetically off-topic.
Eric Owusu @owusukid
1K Followers 896 Following I guarantee no guarantees. I also write jokes. he/him
Danny Rathbun @DannyRathbun
932 Followers 2K Following Stand up comedian, writer, third most handsome comedian in the tri-state area
Porkchop Volcano @PorkchopVolcano
106 Followers 126 Following South Arlington's pre-eminent bi-weekly short-form improv show!
Samantha Kelly @samandthekelly
301 Followers 416 Following Open micer. Chaos magician with a GED. My jokes are depressing and my poetry is laughable.
Wrecked 'Em Comedy @WreckedComedy
530 Followers 757 Following Standup Comedians and Producers of Comedy Showcases and Events. @ryanneser @thetokmoff
Deadair Dennis Maler @DeadairDennis
1K Followers 828 Following Rabble rousing subversive jocular misanthrope that will make you laugh or gasp. Abrasively social. Allergy free since '81!
Darin Patterson @DarinCredible
2K Followers 4K Following Writer, Comedian, Storyteller, Drinking Buddy, Pinball Wizard, Co-Host of @SNLNerdsShow on @nonpro. Get Rich or Die Tweetin'. 🇭🇳✊🏽 @Darincredible.bsky.social
Matt & Jacquie @tismj_sketch
642 Followers 696 Following The Incredible Shrinking Matt & Jacquie are a best friend sketch comedy duo. Matt = @holy_schmid. Jacquie = @bakerjacquie. Featured on The A.V. Club!
Davine "In The City" @DavineKerRadio
180 Followers 443 Following A brand new variety talk show coming soon on Amazon TV & Roku hosted by the First Cambodian-Canadian-American Touring Comedian, @davinedc
Kevin Skiffington @JustSkiff
535 Followers 430 Following Am I famous yet? Standup Comedian | Pro Wrestler | Commentator | featured on @indiewrestling | TalkoBell: A Podcast | Dm for bookings
Ryan M Neser @ryanneser
808 Followers 890 Following I'm a comedian in the DMV. Which means I'm broke and a sociopath. Just trying to make a dollar doing what I love.
Sinbazo @tommysinbazo
860 Followers 727 Following
Comedy Hack Day DC @ComedyHackDayDC
161 Followers 106 Following We bring Coders and Comedians together to pitch, produce and present funny apps and hilarious tech to a live audience! Stay tuned for details on the next event!
Laughfinder Podcast @LaughFinderPod
532 Followers 1K Following A podcast starring 4 Working Comedians, an award winning NPR radio personality, an in studio Audiomancer and a Biweekly guest. Busting balls and playing an RPG
Iron Crow Theatre @IronCrowTheatre
467 Followers 683 Following Baltimore's award-winning, professional queer theatre, celebrating the renegade and the unorthodox in all of us. Join us!
drew @as_easy_as_abk
39 Followers 108 Following Fan of progressive politics, guitar, comedy, and cats.You might like
your sad aunt Carol
@MichaelCFurr
726 Followers
Jordan
@LevineJordan
132 Followers