Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

A sharp degenerate who hopes to one day be a degenerate sharp. 🦁 Luka's jock strap Joined May 2009

Tweets

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Following

818
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2K

Delicious Tacos @Delicious_Tacos

a week ago

The West Point of hookers

Dexerto @Dexerto

a week ago

Arizona State University is now offering a degree in becoming an influencer Students must build a social media account and prove they can gain real followers to graduate

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

a month ago

@darrenrovell Bottom.

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

a month ago

@Kalshi You gotta calm down with these just in’s.

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Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot, and so did my kids. I went to work, and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there, and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out five minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting naked on the sofa.

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

2 months ago

@MarcLobliner Threw away the Whoop and cutout 95% of my supplements 6 months ago. Anxiety substantially decreased while happiness 🚀.

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

2 months ago

@haralabob @HunterBiden If you think that’s actually him tweeting, you deserve all the Brunson hate. 🪦

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

2 months ago

Game context = Why it matters or game insights/what’s developing.

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

2 months ago

If you could add ONE feature to MLB Gameday, what would it be?

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Andrea Edwards @AndreaE456

3 months ago

@MJTruthUltra Hantavirus is the reason your mother and grandmother always cleaned the top of every can before opening it.

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Scott Hoffman @hoffytime

3 months ago

Sad day for sure. The Hilton in the 2000s was a special place. There was no better spot to learn the ins and outs of sports betting from both sides of the counter than with Jay, Ed, Jeff, and Matt. They gave entry-level employees an education most people would have had to pay for. Las Vegas sports betting won’t be the same.

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🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InsideLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿© @InsideLucysHead

4 months ago

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits... When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.