moody monday @mdob11
Dentist. I like teeth. Australia Joined April 2009-
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moody monday retweeted
Doctor: do you exercise? Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks Doctor: Me: cronchies Doctor: I'm gonna put no Me: ok
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moody monday retweeted
Maybe it was never about the stocks but the bonds we made along the way
moody monday retweeted
moody monday retweeted
I need an outfit that seamlessly transitions from daytime to canceled evening plans.
Me: But baby it's cold outside Him: Ma'am, please just take your pizza
Date: It's been hard opening up since my father passed aw- Me: *sees a dog* sorry I have to go
moody monday retweeted
Please stop calling this your "journey" Linda. You are selling leggings on Facebook
moody monday retweeted
2015: making fun of man buns 2016: fascism
[making small talk at work] What do you think about abortion?
moody monday retweeted
The year is 2048. The 👨🏻 mustache man emoji has been elected president for a 2nd term
moody monday retweeted
Our roundup of 30 of the funniest women on Twitter ft @Lana @albz @Lindzeta @mdob11 & more: bit.ly/1RZUrPM
Don't even talk to me before I've had my [60 years pass and then I die]
moody monday retweeted
Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
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