priya @priyaality

designing and stuff priyaality.com 🇮🇳 Joined December 2019

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Raj Kunkolienkar @kunksed

21 hours ago

Any society that makes people who want kids by 25 feel irresponsible has failed at something basic. I know how this sounds. So, caveats upfront: not everyone wants kids, 25 is not magic, and this is not some return-to-1950s-housewife fantasy. I mean something narrower. If someone wants children young, they should not have to fight the entire structure of modern life to do it. I became a father at 31. To twins. And 31 is not old, obviously. But the first thing that hit me was the energy bill. Not the emotional one. The physical one. Feeding the preemies every 2 hours. The unstoppable colic. The tiny logistics of which baby has slept, which baby has eaten, which baby is making that face that means something is about to go wrong. at 4:30 AM. This takes far more patience and body-level energy than I had imagined. From both of us. In the boring daily way, not the cute Instagram day-in-the-life reels way. And it made me think: wait, this is what people were supposed to do with more youth, more grandparents, more siblings around, and fewer calendar invites or quick calls. The irony is that 25 is not even early by Indian history. NFHS-5 put the median age at first pregnancy at 21.2. It only sounds early inside the urban career ladder, where every life decision must first pass through promotions, rent, EMIs, picking a housing society around school admissions, and the vague idea of being "settled." Being around my hometown has made this whole thing feel possible in a way a metro or foreign city would not have. At any point, there is someone around. A grandparent. An aunt. An uncle. Someone who can hold one baby while the other is being fed. Someone who can step in for twenty minutes without making it feel like a transaction. Just people. More hands. More slack. My father ran a grocery store, so work and home were never separate planets. After school, I could hang around him. He was working, but present. I did not think much of it then, because children never think of the infrastructure that makes their life feel normal. But now I do. This is the funny bug in the modern Indian success story. You spend your twenties escaping the village. Bombay. Bangalore. Gurgaon. Singapore. Dubai. Bay Area. Better salaries, better jobs, better apartments, better coffee, better everything. Then you come home from the hospital and realise the village was the only childcare system that actually worked. Of course, the village was never magic. It was mostly women's time, treated as ambient infrastructure. India's 2024 Time Use Survey says women who did caregiving spent about 140 minutes a day on it, compared to 74 minutes for men. That one line should puncture any lazy nostalgia. But it still leaves the uncomfortable question. What replaced it? So we professionalise the village. Daycare. Nanny. Night nurse. Meal subscription. Baby camera. WhatsApp group with other parents. Many of these are useful. Some are necessary. I am not sneering at them. But financial capital can buy labour. It cannot buy care. It cannot buy your child's grandmother sensing something is off before you do. It cannot buy an aunt taking the baby before you even ask. It cannot buy the quiet confidence that if you collapse for twenty minutes, the system will not collapse with you. This is why the "make money first, figure family later" line makes me suspicious now. It sounds sensible. Get stable. Build a career. Earn well. Then have kids when life is sorted. But what if the sorting itself moves you away from the infrastructure that would have made family easier? By the time the salary is right, the grandparents are older. The siblings are scattered. The career is harder to pause. The body has less slack. And then we call delayed parenthood a personal choice. Sometimes it is. Often, I think, it is a design failure dressed up as individual ambition. We did not lose the village. We outgrew it when it was inconvenient, then started missing it when it became useful. Maybe the question is not whether people should have kids at 25. Maybe the question is why success has made wanting kids young feel so impractical.

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priya @priyaality

4 days ago

@whotooksooraj ikr why do things cost money

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priya @priyaality

5 days ago

by sharing the PR with my engineers and ruining their week, how else

Vedant @ditherblue

6 days ago

Designers working in code, how have you made sure your PRs are production-ready? Could be your own skills, some checks, anything really. Comment/DM, would love to learn from you. Thanks!

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priya @priyaality

7 days ago

Umm I’m sorry did @zoink just say the next config is BANGALORE, INDIA??

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priya @priyaality

3 weeks ago

@whotooksooraj @NotionHQ IF ONLY 😭

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priya @priyaality

3 weeks ago

is this an easter egg or am i only just now noticing this

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priya @priyaality

3 weeks ago

@whotooksooraj @NotionHQ it is, takes you to their careers page

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priya @priyaality

4 weeks ago

me before raycast

Ben Gilbert @gilbert

4 weeks ago

It's crazy my brain has a subconscious place for "don't copy anything, you already have something important copied but not pasted yet."

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priya @priyaality

a month ago

We did it again. Two-time champs @RCBTweets 🏆🏆🔥🔥

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priya @priyaality

a month ago

erm

Matt Bateman @mbateman

a month ago

I did the thing

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priya @priyaality

a month ago

brb crying

niallswhoran @aaryacore

a month ago

bye

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priya @priyaality

a month ago

@whotooksooraj oh I’m well aware☠️

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priya @priyaality

a month ago

no joke I read this as kanakapura at first

✶ @echoesofworld

a month ago

Kamakura, Japan

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Blake Dodge @dodgeblake

a month ago

It’s like unironically the biggest investment in women’s health ever

Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

a month ago

We now have a female Bryan Johnson. It’s Kate Tolo. She will become the most measured female in history. +$2 million of spend per year + Developing a female-specific protocol + Sharing everything for free To start, she will spend 3 months mapping her baseline. Men, in

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Andy Masley @AndyMasley

2 months ago

Everyone complains about minimalist design until the company tries something fun and everyone reveals why all the companies have been forced into minimalist design

Farzad 🇺🇸 🇮🇷 @farzyness

2 months ago

Whoever designed this needs to be fired immediately:

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Benjamin (offline for a bit) @bschne

2 months ago

upon Doing The Thing, you will invariably find two things to be true: 1. Doing The Thing was pretty easy, actually 2. not having Done The Thing was bothering you more than you thought it was