Beezil @wrongwaybennett
I'm a delicate fucking flower, god dammit, and you will treat me like a fucking lady. Kentucky Joined April 2009-
Tweets20K
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Followers1K
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Following1K
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Likes25K
Us GenXers are just counting down the years till we can go outside and play again.
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@OpenClassMX Hmmm, we’ll be seeing who’s gonna need that Bactine, mister.
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Yes bitch, I said 3 dollars on pump 6.
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I stretch my old maternity undies up to my boobs and make myself a cheap girl’s romper.
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This is the longest hallucination ever.
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shoutout to the black amish girl following me on instagram, you better churn that butter sis!!
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Mental health update: Currently stressing out about things going too well.
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Day 103 without sex: rolled my car window up with my hair caught in it so it would get pulled a little.
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Day 87 without sex: brushed the very back of my tongue so I could gag on something.
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*Being murdered* "Oh good now I don't have to go to work"
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You are the Charlie horse during sex of people.
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You might be an asshole if your only response to an insult is to critique the creativity of said insult..
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Don’t trust anyone who retweets their own tweet within two hours of posting it. They will wear you as a skin suit.
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I got sloth blood, man.
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Guy just called me a fat bitch.. Not sure if I should applaud his powers of observation or take him under my wing and teach him how insults are supposed to work.
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Stephen King’s next horror story is about living with women who spend a whole week decorating their houses for Christmas
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It’s okay to be a thirsty ho but you gotta learn how to properly use that big uterus energy
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Music is my best and longest running relationship with a therapist.
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I'd fake my own death to get out of work but I'm not in the mood for casserole.
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