Deconile @Deconile
Random thought depository. Guess Joined September 2009-
Tweets3K
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Followers1K
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Following122
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Likes18K
"There's a guy down the street wearing cologne" I wish I could say, but unfortunately he's standing right next to me.
Giving the shirt off your back seems less noble when it's because someone slightly brushed against you in a crowded bar.
Made a complaint to the bartender about a fly in my drink. Seriously? Just one? Don't think you can try to rip me off here, dude.
Just saw a commercial for a new ab workout machine that I really really have to have untouched in my livingroom corner for three years.
Don't know who's desk this is but they probably deserved this.
Drink the blood of your enemies. Complain about the lack of vegan options. Tell everyone you meet.
Text me what you want for dinner. The waiter is here and looks annoyed with both of us.
Sliding drinks down the bar like a pro but no one sitting next to me looks impressed.
Asked the blonde bimbo sitting next to me her thoughts but I don't think she found this tweet funny.
People tell me it's beer:30 like they didn't realize that happened at my desk like 5 hours ago.
If laws of the wild applied to this corporate training class, the guy asking too many questions would have been eaten by a lion by now.
If you get offended when someone wishes you a Merry Christmas you can always take comfort knowing that they probably didn't mean it anyway.
So is this bottle of ketchup on the table free, or, what?
Sarcastically laughed at so many retweets I'm starting to offend myself.
Tell me you don't serve waffles all you want because I'm going to keep asking.
Nothing says "wedding in a barn" like an invitation on a magnet.
@GirlieShortcake And easier than changing your face. That gets expensive.
I get that we know each other, but let's just pretend we don't.
I get that grocery store clerks have check ID for alcohol purchases every time but let's get real here, Dennis.
Les @hiimles
954 Followers 189 Following 2nd Gen Californian, living in the Gila Mountains of New Mexico. Retired software engineer, cyclist, photographer, golfer, sports fan, cook and drinker.
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
26K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
Just Norm @funnyguy
5K Followers 5K Following I'm a fake expert comedian on life. I write jokes and do stand-up and improv comedy. For entertainment purposes only.
Nevin is fed up with ... @NevieGirl83
2K Followers 2K Following (she/her) Mom of 3, Gigi, photographer IG:@artisticexposurephotography 💙🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ 🗳 📷⚾️🏀🏒 🏈 #GoHoos #FlipCarolinaBlue #BidenHarris2024
𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚢𝚝�... @BettyLies
7K Followers 762 Following Never do what you’re told. There’ll be time, believe me, when you’re old.
Scarlett Fever @WittyClitty
4K Followers 2K Following Music video junkie who adores great kids, particularly mine. Collecting friends who rock, get me, or otherwise fascinate. Original Gangster Tweeter #OGT
Drew (Not a Guy) H @StillDrew
1K Followers 535 Following ...and then before I knew it I had awesome all over me. I'm never going to get this out.
Marc MacKenzie @marcmack
3K Followers 746 Following Marc is a man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.
flyxps @flyxps
4 Followers 263 Following
Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae
8K Followers 7K Following I used to write about dating & sex. Then I got married so I don’t have sex anymore. I don’t date anymore either because my husband frowns upon it.
Cherry @cherry75
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anne bonny's bastard ... @AnneBonnysKid
263 Followers 1K Following sometimes I tweet about football LFC | ParisFC women's
vadim @gunny_torpeedo
11 Followers 103 Following i'm a leo, i like taking long walks off of short pier's. no wait...nm
Connor @Wesley20134974
811 Followers 3K Following
Kristen @khoenicke
5 Followers 104 Following
Meidhreach Piscín @Feline_Fatale
299 Followers 369 Following Life can be funny - if you know where to look. Occasionally funny with a feline bent.
R.J. @chipsholda4
71 Followers 770 Following
Ms. Browning @BagLadyBrowning
25 Followers 189 Following
Christine Riley @ceriley53
9 Followers 77 Following
K, @k92503627
127 Followers 400 Following
K Okay @catnapfever
34 Followers 423 Following
Rida Rida @shdeyjfdvurexvb
10 Followers 190 Following
LittleRunnerGurl @LittleRunnrGurl
7 Followers 18 Following
Suzy Taco @suzytaco
275 Followers 2K Following american indian: yokayo pomo, feminist, democratic socialist, dv + cancer survivor, rosy-eyed realist. i’m not a player i just crush a lot. she/her
Liliana Bustillo @LilianaBustill5
20 Followers 102 Following
Matt @dictiosus
896 Followers 666 Following Historian. Freethinker. Libertine. Pragmatist. Escape Room Owner. Secular Humanist. Weisenheimer. SciFi Geek. Rapscallion. Occasional Curmudgeon.
Alessandra Axxe @AlessandraAxxe
13 Followers 120 Following Sunday school teacher; secret erotica author and lover of all things funny
Ms. Aligned @Miss_Aligned
147 Followers 128 Following These are the things that are in my head that I am too polite to say out loud! http://t.co/neh6lWxKY7
Niles @River_Niles
3K Followers 2K Following Avi by @grgikau Buy me a coffee if you are ever so inclined: https://t.co/qBgjTPUJtl Lawd knows I need one.. Matrimonious annoyance to @steal1993
Just Jeremiah @BYGH
11K Followers 9K Following It's not just you; my wife and kids can't stand my dad humor either. http://t.co/LZcNhPxoXU
tsaphanbabe @TsaphanBabe
64 Followers 74 Following I ♥ twitter | my mother found my tweets so I had to move here | I take everything seriously.
audra yancey @ayancey1966
38 Followers 456 Following
Catarina Matos @CatCrossMatos
599 Followers 882 Following First Portuguese Comedian to perform at Comedy Central© - love to brag about things [email protected]
Le Radtacular @Le_Radtacular
121 Followers 694 Following This mango wants to dance the tango. Here for the fun and not the dramo.
Fighting4Theresa @Fight4Theresa
74 Followers 659 Following Theresa Staley Wood was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia on 8/19/11. She fought a hard battle, but succumbed to this horrible disease on 9/19/11.
Heath @TheFeikert
17 Followers 364 Following
My Flaps @MyFlaps
141 Followers 876 Following Lets start this shit again. Why the fuck not. http://t.co/d3TintSqra
UgPharoah @Ugpharoah
2K Followers 2K Following I know life's script is already written but I'm making the best of my creative license...
vadim @gunny_torpedo
7 Followers 78 Following
Rachel @MsRachelRob
18 Followers 98 Following
Les @hiimles
954 Followers 189 Following 2nd Gen Californian, living in the Gila Mountains of New Mexico. Retired software engineer, cyclist, photographer, golfer, sports fan, cook and drinker.
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
26K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
Nevin is fed up with ... @NevieGirl83
2K Followers 2K Following (she/her) Mom of 3, Gigi, photographer IG:@artisticexposurephotography 💙🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ 🗳 📷⚾️🏀🏒 🏈 #GoHoos #FlipCarolinaBlue #BidenHarris2024
𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚢𝚝�... @BettyLies
7K Followers 762 Following Never do what you’re told. There’ll be time, believe me, when you’re old.
Scarlett Fever @WittyClitty
4K Followers 2K Following Music video junkie who adores great kids, particularly mine. Collecting friends who rock, get me, or otherwise fascinate. Original Gangster Tweeter #OGT
Drew (Not a Guy) H @StillDrew
1K Followers 535 Following ...and then before I knew it I had awesome all over me. I'm never going to get this out.
Marc MacKenzie @marcmack
3K Followers 746 Following Marc is a man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.
erin @erinnapricot
1K Followers 975 Following
Meidhreach Piscín @Feline_Fatale
299 Followers 369 Following Life can be funny - if you know where to look. Occasionally funny with a feline bent.
K Okay @catnapfever
34 Followers 423 Following
LittleRunnerGurl @LittleRunnrGurl
7 Followers 18 Following
Suzy Taco @suzytaco
275 Followers 2K Following american indian: yokayo pomo, feminist, democratic socialist, dv + cancer survivor, rosy-eyed realist. i’m not a player i just crush a lot. she/her
Matt @dictiosus
896 Followers 666 Following Historian. Freethinker. Libertine. Pragmatist. Escape Room Owner. Secular Humanist. Weisenheimer. SciFi Geek. Rapscallion. Occasional Curmudgeon.
jacquelin @viciousbabydoll
3K Followers 2K Following The reason I don't have a bio is because fuck you.
tsaphanbabe @TsaphanBabe
64 Followers 74 Following I ♥ twitter | my mother found my tweets so I had to move here | I take everything seriously.
Marie @marie_notmaria
588 Followers 1K Following I'm not very good at twitter. Or sleeping. Or adulting.
Go Away @leighbeta
130 Followers 375 Following This is probably a bad idea. Scottish lass now in Wales 🏴🏴🇪🇺
Supercalifragilego �... @decarabas2
503 Followers 1K Following I invented the shade. Animal lover...but not like you think.
Chrys @laughandrun
7K Followers 6K Following
THE STICKY BANDIT @AustinCyr
616 Followers 634 Following pay no attention to the man behind the tweets
Joe Munsterman @JoeMunsterman
1K Followers 111 Following I try to make people laugh. *Had my account long before the Nazi took over.
Me Talk Pretty @patty_penis
726 Followers 1K Following
LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms
2K Followers 1K Following wanderer, non breeder, conch eater, and 3 am random thought tweeter. https://t.co/0GrxwXhdOE
Donnie on the spot @donniepeeler
7K Followers 5K Following Host of the Crack House Chronicles True Crime Podcast. Kung Fu Master, Mayan ruins excavator and Rush nerd.
ßetsyßoo @Betsyboo81
881 Followers 1K Following ❋ Passion Rules...I Obey ❋ Mother. Conservative patriot. Dog lover. Truth seeker. Spirit hunter. Noosa aficionado ❤️ 🇱🇷 #KAG 🇱🇷
serenebabe @serenebabe
707 Followers 439 Following my mother found my twitter. https://t.co/ny4CfrK9xb @[email protected]
®abbitinski @rabbitinski
640 Followers 582 Following Severely average. Project all your positive traits onto me in this space.
BDotRenda @goathaircut
149 Followers 146 Following
twitchyspastic @danialelder
875 Followers 1K Following the Amazable FreakBoy,Easily Amused(abused, confused...etc). Now taking pictures.
cyrohzin @Cyrohzin
95 Followers 120 Following M/35; it’s a duress-full life, but somebodies gotta do it.
Lili @kaonicks
876 Followers 901 Following cat made of caffeine and anger | she/her | Powered by @ADVANCEDgg code: KAONICKS
krysti mercury @krystimercury
476 Followers 849 Following I like my hair messy, my whiskey neat and my dessert before dinner.
peter @p3
597 Followers 391 Following
Just me @SweetHeatherbee
414 Followers 889 Following
Beer Farts @BeerFarts101
16K Followers 2K Following ive killed a deer once with my car and 4 times with a hockey stick.
M @hoopahoep
2K Followers 1K Following Please don’t read my tweets. This is my personal outlet for any thoughts or emotions and it doesn’t work on private. I have to shout it into the void.
Darienne Lake @dariennelake
81K Followers 1K Following Top 4 finalist from RuPaul's Drag Race season 6. Singer/dancer/flawless makeup artist/comedian. NEW BOOKING INFO: [email protected]
SmokeJumper ™® @schumyxxx
2K Followers 582 Following Balinese Chieftain of a tribe. I dined in volcanoes with dragons and mythical animals.You might like
Joe
@theJoeBiz
4K Followers