Miss_Cook @Miss_Cook
If I fit my entire life bio into one line, I'm never gonna get that book deal. Boobies. Inside my head Joined May 2009-
Tweets4K
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Followers4K
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Following298
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Likes45K
All y’all hyping up Taco Bell’s Baja Blast owe me and my taste buds an apology.
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Me looking at the recommended serving size on literally anything:
Kiss me I’m Ir...reparably damaged and emotionally stunted with limited social skills. And maybe like .3% Irish.
The audacity of people using speakerphone. Like bruh I’m rarely a willing participant in my own phone conversations and now you’re forcing me to be a part of yours? Hard pass.
The audacity of the internet making me realize just how often my Ohio born and raised ass says ‘ope’.
The hardest word you’ll ever try to spell is the nickname you give your dog.
Lost inside her dirty world, No one hurts this pretty girl but her. #SLIPKNOTQUARANTINESWEEPS
Miss_Cook retweeted
I’m gonna give away $5,000 to 3 random people who retweets this and follows me! ❤️ Quarantine is lasting way longer than expected and I wanna keep helping out. Love you guys ⭐️
@thehorseman I listened to it all afternoon at work 💜
Miss_Cook retweeted
I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love
This is why they’ll never tell us the truth about UFOs #coronavirus #ToiletPaperApocalypse
@plemur Trying to keep my sanity by limiting my social media but also losing my sanity because I can’t limit my social media 🙃
Life hack: print out Trump’s tweets. BOOM you’ve got plenty of toilet paper.
Has anyone tried telling Trump the Corona virus is an illegal immigrant from Mexico?
Anytime I put pizza rolls in the oven instead of the microwave.
Nobody: Perfume commercials: WELCOME TO MY FEVER DREAM.
So now I not only have to be jealous of Billie Eilish for being a talented 17yo millionaire, but she’s never had to listen to Van Halen either? Lucky bitch.
It’s that time of year when we’re reminded of that age old question WHO TF IS GIVING A CAR AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT?! And are they single?
Disney+ is everything I don’t want to watch in one place.
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary
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